


The Case of the Missing Intern(s)

by bluegeekEM



Series: Promptober 2020 [5]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: A Night Vale intern who lives, Crossover, Gen, I misused science-sounding words for my own convenience, Investigations, Poor John Watson, Silly, Typical Night Vale Weirdness, but maybe not both, radio show, unbetaed - we die like one of Cecil's interns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:55:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26852545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluegeekEM/pseuds/bluegeekEM
Summary: Another Night Vale intern goes missing.  This time, however, there's a consulting detective on the case.
Series: Promptober 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950826
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	The Case of the Missing Intern(s)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even going to make excuses about my timeliness or lack thereof anymore. Promptober day five brings another idea that was briefly considered for a pod_together challenge - "Welcome to Night Vale crossover with Sherlock (BBC)"

CECIL: The vast reaches of space and time hold many wonders and many dangers. What will we discover tonight? _[*pause*]_ Welcome to Night Vale.

[[*intro theme*](https://youtu.be/N9f2C0SOdqg?t=38)]

CECIL: There’s a mystery afoot in Night Vale, listeners! More specifically, there is an investigation! Intern Mirai, whom, you may remember, never returned after venturing out to take witness statements from some of our community members who were witness to the Event at the Sand Pit north of town and is still missing. She has a very worried family who is looking for her and they have hired a detective duo to look into her disappearance. Welcome to the studio, gentlemen.

JOHN: Are you sure you couldn’t, oh, I don’t know, play some music for a bit while we interview you rather than broadcasting this on the air? This really is quite unorthodox-

SHERLOCK: This is fine, John. We should see what sort of environment Mirai was working in, anyways. It will give me a broader view of her life and habits.

CECIL: This isn’t that kind of radio show, anyways. Well, this is a fascinating look into your investigative process! Now, for the sake of our listeners, please introduce yourselves.

SHERLOCK: I am Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective.

JOHN: And I am Dr. John Watson, his partner.

CECIL: And how long have you two been partners in this detecting business?

SHERLOCK: A couple of years, now, it’s impossible to keep track.

JOHN: It feels like an eternity, sometimes.

CECIL: Ah, well, time often has no meaning, after all. And, forgive me for noticing, but you two don’t sound like you’re locals, where have you traveled from for this search.

JOHN: We’re based in London, though we do a fair bit of traveling due to the nature of our work.

CECIL: London? Hmmm, I’ve never heard of it.

JOHN: _[*baffled pause*]_ Umm, it’s in England?

CECIL: Hmmm, we’ve got a new one of those, though not around here. Are you from the old version?

JOHN: I don’t- what?

SHERLOCK: Never mind, John. Now, Mr. Palmer, why don’t you give us a look at how a typical night at the radio station proceeds.

CECIL: Sure, I do have several typical show segments to cover, so I’ll forge ahead. First, I have some reminders for the Community Calendar…

* * *

CECIL: And this has been: the Community Calendar.

JOHN: _[*alarmed*]_ Hold on a moment. You all have to do an annual screening for _throat spiders?_ What on-

SHERLOCK: Not now, John, I don’t think mundane health reminders are relevant to our current investigation.

JOHN: _[*incredulous*]_ Mundane?!?

CECIL: Well, I’m sure they do things a little differently in Old England. Now, back to your investigation, tell me a little bit about how you would normally approach a case like Intern Mirai’s?

SHERLOCK: Go ahead, John.

JOHN: _[*sighs*]_ Well, typically we would first look at Mirai’s close family and friends, romantic attachments, and so on. Get a sense of her life and relationships. See if she’d had difficulty at home or work that may have escalated into an event causing her disappearance.

CECIL: And have you turned up any clues about Intern Mirai’s case that you can share with our listeners?

SHERLOCK: Oh, no. Her life seems incredibly typical: bright young woman, excellent academic record, taking a year off before returning to school. She’s on good terms with her flatmate, not in a serious relationship and those she does see casually speak well of her. No family in this area, though she calls home twice a week to catch up with her parents and siblings, and to her grandparents every few weeks.

CECIL: Seems like that doesn’t give you any leads to work with.

SHERLOCK: She also had a brand new internship at this very radio station.

CECIL: Oh, one moment, Mr. Holmes, I’m being told by my producer that we have an urgent traffic update for our town residents, but we’ll come right back to your investigation after I read out the announcement.

* * *

CECIL: This has been: Traffic. Now, back to what you were saying about the investigation into Intern Mirai’s disappearance?

JOHN: _[*nonplussed*]_ Wait a moment, wait a moment… Did you just talk about the mortifying ordeal of being known for five minutes and call that a traffic report?

CECIL: Yes.

_[*pause*]_

CECIL: And so, you were saying, Mr. Holmes?

SHERLOCK: Mmm, yes, well. The only real change to Mirai’s daily life was her new position as an intern at this radio station.

CECIL: Why, yes, I believe she started last month when we had an opening. If I recall correctly, she had very strong interview skills and the decision to hire her was unanimous.

SHERLOCK: Indeed. And not two weeks later, she’d gone missing.

CECIL: _[*somber*]_ Yes, and she’s been a very competent intern, as well. I never would have thought she’d be the type to abandon an assignment.

SHERLOCK: Yes, well, her family thought this was out of character for her as well. Hence our services were engaged. It’s been quite an interesting case so far, Mr. Palmer.

CECIL: Oh?

SHERLOCK: Yes. Upon closer investigation of this radio station, John and I discovered that you’ve had a truly alarming staff turnover rate in the last few years alone.

JOHN: We would call that a red flag for this investigation.

CECIL: I have had to sit in on a number of interviews, come to think of it. It’s really started to cut into some of my family time during the days...

SHERLOCK: In fact, I’d say the radio business seems significantly more dangerous than the consulting detective business, given that I’d managed to keep the same intern for years, now, and kept him mostly intact during that time.

JOHN: _[*huffs*]_ I am _not_ your intern, Sherlock. And do you know how many times, collectively, we have been a _hair’s breadth_ away from _death?_ Because it’s been a lot!

SHERLOCK: _[*nonchalant*]_ Perhaps, but a hair’s breadth away, by its very definition, is not dead, so I would say you’ve got quite a better deal than the majority of Mr. Palmer’s interns.

CECIL: Well, it’s true, we have had a number of losses in the name of journalistic integrity and community radio. And you think Intern Mirai’s disappearance is the result of her work here at the station?

JOHN: Yes.

SHERLOCK: Obviously.

CECIL: Oh, oh dear.

SHERLOCK: Indeed. We’ve been searching for the sand pit that was supposedly Mirai’s last known location, though your Night Vale authorities have been less than helpful, thus far. Do you know the location of the sand pit, Mr. Palmer?

CECIL: I do. It’s just a few minutes away.

JOHN: Will you please take us there?

CECIL: What, now? I haven’t finished the show yet-

SHERLOCK: Surely the search for your missing intern should take precedence, don’t you think, Mr. Palmer.

CECIL: Well, if you think it would help…

SHERLOCK: I do.

CECIL: Oh well. Uhh, Intern Geoffrey? Would you please read this week’s horoscopes and then transition us to the weather?

GEOFFREY: _[*nervous*]_ Umm, absolutely, Mr. Palmer.

CECIL: Thank you, Geoffrey. And don’t forget that today is the collective birthdays for Station Management, so don’t forget to wish them a prosperous one and highlight their horoscope, okay?

GEOFFREY: _[*more nervous*]_ Are- Are you sure that’s a good idea, Mr. Palmer? I don’t think-

CECIL: _[*not listening*]_ Alright, listeners, I will hopefully be reporting in on location at the Sand Pit with our guests as we investigate the disappearance of Intern Mirai. Until then, let’s go to the Horoscopes.

* * *

CECIL: Am I on-air? Yes? Excellent. Hello, listeners! Welcome back from the weather. You won’t believe the amazing news I have for you as I report to you live from the Sand Pit north of town! It turns out that all of the commotion a few weeks ago was just the precursor to the Space-Time Vortex relocating a little early this decade!

JOHN: _[*distantly and in a panic*]_ TIME VORTEX? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLACE? SHERLOCK? WHAT SORT OF EXPLANATION DO YOU HAVE FOR THIS?

SHERLOCK: _[*distantly and unruffled*]_ Calm down, John. It’s just a simple spatial anomaly. Nothing to get this worked up about.

JOHN: _[*indistinct sounds of frustration*]_

CECIL: Ahem. Upon arrival to the Sand Pit, we found the Vortex still settling into place. Since it hadn’t yet entered into the hibernation phase, wherein no one would be able to enter or exit for a full decade until the next migration, Dr. Watson and Mr. Holmes were able to enter just far enough into the vortex’s influence to locate Mirai and lead her back out. They also freed an unusual individual wearing armor - and a jetpack, of all things - who looks like he or she might be a warrior from the Blood-Space War, as well as a man in a bow tie and fez. Neither of them seem to have originated in Night Vale. Oh, you temperamental Vortex, you!

_[*indistinct arguing in the background*]_

CECIL: Well, that has certainly been enough excitement for tonight, listeners. Before I go, I would like to say a great big ‘thank you’ to Intern Geoffrey for handling the horoscope and weather tonight. I wasn’t able to listen to them live, but I’ll be sure to admire your work when I get back to the studio and can check out the recording, Geoffrey.

_[*pause*]_

CECIL: Geoffrey?

_[*pause*]_

CECIL: Hmmm, where did he go? Well, listeners, that is a mystery that will have to wait for another night. Stay tuned next for the sound of your joints creaking when you stand, because it’s been the kind of year that ages you beyond the biological norm. And until next time, good night, Night Vale. Good night.

_[*credits theme*]_

* * *

This crossover collaboration is brought to you by Promptober. It was written by bluegeekEM. Original music by Disparition. Find radio plays like this one and more at my AO3 works page. Comments? Questions? Leave them right here. And while you’re here, consider clicking the kudos button. That’d be amazing.  
Today’s proverb: How many fandoms can be made into crossovers with Welcome to Night Vale? The world may never know.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to throw a few prompts into my basket please feel free to leave them here or over on twitter: @BluegeekEm


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